the colts done fucked up.
as the jerk store's resident (and impartial) sports analyst, i will share some information that will make some of you look less homosexual when you saunter up to the water cooler and into a conversation about the nfl play-off 'picture,' as it is called. the name of the team who beat the colts is 'the chargers.' they play in san diego. they have very good linebackers on their defensive squadron, and they sacked peyton manning (simultaneously the most popular player and biggest dipshit in the league) four times. the colts were undefeated until sunday.
the patriots, on the other hand, dismantled the tampa bay 'bucs', title-contenders and winners of nine games this season. the bucs have the league's second-ranked defense. the patriots shut them out 28-0 to clinch their third consecutive afc east title. the pats were able to shut them out thanks in large part to a restored defense (you may recall my post from earlier in the season detailing the list of injuries that read like a dispatch from vietnam), and in particular a restored linebacker corps.
so...the colts lose their first game of the season on the day that the pats win their most important. the colts are beaten by a team with outstanding linebackers, and the patriots' linebackers have been restored to outstanding. in their three super bowl wins, the patriots have faced and humiliated the colts in the play-offs. my impartial analysis? FUCK THE COLTS
3 comments:
Yeah, the Chargers figured out the most amazing and hidden secret of defeating the Colts: keep pressure on Manning. I know, it sounds crazy, but it worked. Would that the 13 teams before them have considered that revolutionary strategy...
In other news, the Ravens actually looked like a real football team last night, with passes and receptions and everything! Also the highest scoring game for them ever. Shame it was about 10 games too late to matter.
didn't you read 'the sun?' boller is better than favre! had we realized that sooner, maybe he wouldn't have sucked so very hard before yesterday.
Well hey, I've never thrown 2 interceptions in a Monday Night game either, so I guess I'm better than Favre, too! Hot damn!
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