I wanna be Yoda for Halloween

Deleted scenes ahoy.

American Commercials Suck....

So get ye to China, drink Coke, and play World of Warcraft.

Neocons apparently don't know what a comma splice is

It is 2021, tomorrow is the 20th anniversary of 9/11. America is under oppression by ultra-liberal extremists which have yielded governing authority to the United Nations. It is up to an underground conservative group (known as F.O.I.L.) led by Sean Hannity, G. Gordon Liddy and Oliver North to thwart Ambassador Usama Bin Laden’s plans to nuke New York City.

DeLay Gets DeIndicted

DeLay Indicted in Campaign Finance Probe
Sep 28 12:42 PM US/Eastern


By LARRY MARGASAK
Associated Press Writer

WASHINGTON

A Texas grand jury on Wednesday charged Rep. Tom DeLay and two political associates with conspiracy in a campaign finance scheme, an indictment that could force him to step down as House majority leader.

DeLay attorney Steve Brittain said DeLay was accused of a criminal conspiracy along with two associates, John Colyandro, former executive director of a Texas political action committee formed by DeLay, and Jim Ellis, who heads DeLay's national political committee.

The indictment against the second-ranking, and most assertive Republican leader came on the final day of the grand jury's term. It followed earlier indictments of a state political action committee founded by DeLay and three of his political associates.

The grand jury action is expected to have immediate consequences in the House, where DeLay is largely responsible for winning passage of the Republican legislative program. House Republican Party rules require leaders who are indicted to temporarily step aside from their leadership posts.

However, DeLay retains his seat representing Texas' 22nd congressional district, suburbs southwest of Houston.

DeLay has denied committing any crime and accused the Democratic district attorney leading the investigation, Ronnie Earle, of pursuing the case for political motives.

Democrats have kept up a crescendo of criticism of DeLay's ethics, citing three times last year that the House ethics committee admonished DeLay for his conduct.

"chomping beak"

from cdnn:

"But males get round their inferior size by being endowed with a particularly long penis, which means they can inject the female without having to get too close to her chomping beak. The male's sexual organ is actually a bit like a high-pressure fire hose and is normally nearly as long as his body - excluding legs and head."

Demo_cracy

In an effort to crack down on the information access and activities of China's 100 million Internet users, the Chinese government is imposing new regulations that will attempt to centralize all China-based Web news and opinion under a state regulator...

Many Chinese Internet users, dismissing what they call government scare tactics, find ways around censorship. The government requires users of cybercafes to register with their state-issued ID cards on each visit, but some users avoid cybercafe registration by paying off owners. In response, the government has installed video cameras in some cafs and shut others.

eleetism.

Q:

What:

• Plays seemingly unlimited amounts of music
• Has a user interface mainly controlled by a circular control
  
• Fits in your pocket
• Comes in silver, blue, green, and pink
• Was invented in 1954?
  

I hate to interrupt this communistic wankfest

But what the fuck:

More than an hour into a solemn ceremony naming Rep. Marco Rubio, R-West Miami, as the 2007-08 House Speaker, Gov. Jeb Bush stepped to the podium in the House chamber last week and told a short story about "unleashing Chang," his "mystical warrior" friend.

Here are Bush's words, spoken before hundreds of lawmakers and politicians: "Chang is a mystical warrior. Chang is somebody who believes in conservative principles, believes in entrepreneurial capitalism, believes in moral values that underpin a free society.

"I rely on Chang with great regularity in my public life. He has been by my side and sometimes I let him down. But Chang, this mystical warrior, has never let me down."

Bush then unsheathed a golden sword and gave it to Rubio as a gift.

jack + off + buddies=

(as calculated by msn search:)

Body Buddies

... be dead, an alarm of some sort must be set/go off, the line "do you think you can?" Body Buddies Tim - Brian Merrit Bud - Kevin Cornell Music by - Jack Zankowski Two friends set out on an adventure across ...

explosive rage.

p.s. i think it is gay when people are all like, check out this other guy we kinda know's blog and shit, but the hateometer, with its corpse-tossing explosiveness, needs to be seen.

what do people look for when they come to redstarkgb? well, where there's a stat page, there's a hackneyed blog post.

here's a look at the trends that shape your world. i present to you the 7 most common and recent search terms entered into the redstar search field.

"Jenny Van horn" Yesterday
jack off buddies 2 days ago
"eleanor grosch" 2 days ago
"Eleanor Grosch" 2 days ago
"Eleanor Grosch" 2 days ago
"bon soir regret a demain" 4 days ago
dan kazemi 4 days ago

"surprisingly well-made"

blogs ahoy! that's right: apparently more people visit redstar than pete dalkner in the middle of the night, alone and weeping softly.

on a related note, the chair of the video department left a message for me today, asking me to talk to his video 1 class. like guest lecture. jesus.

Totally Nerdy

And Nintendo related, but I think at least Klimas will find it interesting. And really, don't we all just post here in order to interest Klimas?

Also, it uses the word "genre" a lot.

Even Microsofties get the blues

... When I suffered through my first stack ranking experience, I was assigned a mentor to deal with my glowering funk. Strangely, the one bit of advice he provided me out of the blue was: "The best way to get a pay raise is to switch companies." And a year later he called me up, needing to staff up at his new company. Sure enough, everytime I switched to a new company a new big fat wad of cash landed in my account.

I bring this up given that if the job market is heating up so much that recruiters are hiring people to stand outside of Microsoft to hawk their openings, you can bet you can get a much better salary now. It's all about surfing the economy's inflection points. (Hint to recruiters: stand outside any entrances leading to Windows.)

HOLY SHIT! or WHAT THE FUCK? you decide.

from reuters:

BASRA, Iraq (Reuters) - British forces used tanks to smash down the walls of a prison in the southern city of Basra and freed two undercover British soldiers seized earlier by Iraqi forces, an Interior Ministry official said on
Monday.

ok, sure. stuff like that happens, i guess. i mean, it sucks when your "undercover soldiers" get busted for something. wait, how did they end up in that prison, anyway?

from the simon

A car driving through the outskirts of a besieged city opens fire on a police checkpoint, killing one. In pursuit, the police surround and detain the drivers and find the vehicle packed with explosives – perhaps part of an insurgent's plan to destroy lives and cripple property...[but] You see, the drivers of the explosive-laden car were not members of an insurgency group – they were British Special Forces.

well, yeah, that sounds bad, but i'm sure the british have a good explanation, and were able to get the situation under control without too many negative consequences.

The Interior Ministry official said dozens of Iraqi prisoners being held at the jail had escaped at the same time.

The British forces informed the Iraqi authorities that the two soldiers were performing an official duty, the source said. British military authorities said they could not confirm the incident but investigations were underway

i told you. 'performing an official duty.' good. colossal asshole elected officials everywhere can breathe a sigh of relief.

Good news, everyone

We're not all going to die.

Get ye Shakesperian Flask...

For some dang reason, someone has decided to make Hamlet into a text adventure.

You try to kill a president and suddenly everybody cares about your feelings

Presidential assailant John W. Hinckley Jr., who is petitioning the court for more freedom, is lonely and longing for a close relationship like the one he had for many years with a former psychiatric patient, a psychologist testified yesterday.

The psychologist said such a desire is natural for a man who has ended a long relationship, as Hinckley did this year. Hinckley, 50, cut his ties to Leslie deVeau after the relationship came under scrutiny during hearings to decide whether he was ready for expanded freedoms.

...

The underlying question at a hearing yesterday appeared to be how Hinckley would handle courtship and respond to rejection out in the world, away from the structure and support of a hospital.

...

He said that, just as many people rely on their partners for support, Hinckley could be well served by the sort of relationship he craves. But Montalbano also said that given the scrutiny such a partner would endure, Hinckley may face a hard road to romance: "Mr. Hinckley remains optimistic, but perhaps naively optimistic."

Arrest *my* development...

So the premiere of Season 3 was last night....comments?

well-posted, boys. you got it all: stupid techie shit, stupid presidential shit, stupid ian's family is fucking crazy shit. all in all, a good week. i only wish i could have contributed more.

oh well. back to freecell.

HOWTO: come to terms with the Revolution controller

1. See picture. Think to self: "what the crap??!"
   
   
2. Watch video (alt). Think to self: "hmm."
3. Ponder implications and possibilities.
4. Realize Sony and Microsoft really aren't putting out anything exciting with their new consoles.
5. Weep at the thought that you may be becoming a Nintendo fanboy.
6. Post blog entry.
7. Receive taunting messages from Joel Haddock.

Gentlemen, the most awesome thing i've ever heard.

I give you Mieskuoro Huutajat, or as they're more commonly known, the "Finnish Shouting Choir". Please note the MP3s on their homepage.


On a side note, there's apparently a film about them at sundance this year. I MUST see this film.

From the Desk of George W. Bush

True story.

8 bits are for losers

Real men only need one to rock out. mp3s sort of down the page a little bit.

#9209

if anyone else if fucking around at work, can you please try to beat freecell game #9209?

it is presenting me with an unusual amount of difficulty.

thank you.

Dust off your disused xbox...

Burnout Revenge is out. Now get to crashin' and smashin'.

Newsweek pillories the Prez

But it is not clear what President Bush does read or watch, aside from the occasional biography and an hour or two of ESPN here and there. Bush can be petulant about dissent; he equates disagreement with disloyalty. After five years in office, he is surrounded largely by people who agree with him. Bush can ask tough questions, but it's mostly a one-way street. Most presidents keep a devil's advocate around. Lyndon Johnson had George Ball on Vietnam; President Ronald Reagan and Bush's father, George H.W. Bush, grudgingly listened to the arguments of Budget Director Richard Darman, who told them what they didn't wish to hear: that they would have to raise taxes. When Hurricane Katrina struck, it appears there was no one to tell President Bush the plain truth: that the state and local governments had been overwhelmed, that the Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA) was not up to the job and that the military, the only institution with the resources to cope, couldn't act without a declaration from the president overriding all other authority.

You know you've really fucked up when Newsweek says so...

Koan

When the nun Chiyono studied Zen under Bukko of Engaku she was unable to attain the fruits of meditation for a long time.

At last one moonlit night she was carrying water in an old pail bound with bamboo. The bamboo broke and the bottom fell out of the pail, and at that moment Chiyono was set free!

In commemoration, she wrote a poem:

In this way and that I tried to save the old pail
Since the bamboo strip was weakening and about to break
Until at last the bottom fell out.
No more water in the pail!
No more moon in the water!

fodder for jurassic park: scientifically correct special edition

always a lovely idea, now apparently "irrefutable".

If you have a stupid idea, you might as well take it to its logical extreme

Exhibit A.

Quoth that dude they made fun of one time on Something Awful Dot Com

"I can't speak much for Sony right now - yeah, we're working on stuff for the PS3 but honestly I'm so busy with Gears that it's all I'm seeing and I can tell you - Microsoft is giving you a hell of a system," he continues. "This thing is a BEAST and is capable of MUCH GREATNESS."

If You Didn't Think IGN Could Get Any Crappier...

Rupert Murdoch is here to change your mind.

wtf, people! have you seen the last, like, six posts? fucking sellouts! 'hey, check out my iMusic player! - have you guys seen the new Tunester? - klimas likes sigur ros!' gimme a fucking break, you candy APPLE'D fags.

if you need me, i'll be playing FREECELL.

This would've been a comment on feezer's post

Except Blogger doesn't let you post images in comments.

... what in the hell did they do to iTunes?!



Counting down to a detailed critique of my playlists...

Joel, don't let your girlfriend see this.

For the true geek in all of us, the Harry Potter iPod.

Tiny Tunes....

I had to use that horrendous title, because if apple uses it, now i can sue them.


But seriously...the new "iPod Nano" is fucking ridiculous. I mean, how small do these things need to get? I could fit this thing in my asscrack! Am i right? Is this thing on?

Honestly though, i'd be afraid that i'd accidentally snap the damn thing in half if i sat down too hard with this thing in my pocket...

Why hello, consumer

Ever tried visiting iphone.org?

Yeah, me neither.

re: lop of shit.

the funniest onion in ages (maybe since 9/11?) showed up today, boys. and if you peer into all the ad-infested corners, you will find an editorial response to the infestation. not to mention george bush's weekly radio address. maestro, write on!

Ten times cooler than any x-mas present you'll ever get...

This thing could literally blow up anything else.

In more proof that the japanese are totally insane, this company built a 3.5 meter tall 'mech that actually works. You can see videos of it walking around and firing its guns at the company's website.

Also of note, the cockpit is apparently inspired by Gundam.

Japan, I love you.

Engage the spin

The Washington Post:

Behind the scenes, a power struggle emerged, as federal officials tried to wrest authority from Louisiana Gov. Kathleen Babineaux Blanco (D). Shortly before midnight Friday, the Bush administration sent her a proposed legal memorandum asking her to request a federal takeover of the evacuation of New Orleans, a source within the state's emergency operations center said Saturday.

The administration sought unified control over all local police and state National Guard units reporting to the governor. Louisiana officials rejected the request after talks throughout the night, concerned that such a move would be comparable to a federal declaration of martial law. Some officials in the state suspected a political motive behind the request. "Quite frankly, if they'd been able to pull off taking it away from the locals, they then could have blamed everything on the locals," said the source, who does not have the authority to speak publicly.

The New York Times:

Under the command of President Bush's two senior political advisers, the White House rolled out a plan this weekend to contain the political damage from the administration's response to Hurricane Katrina.

It orchestrated visits by cabinet members to the region, leading up to an extraordinary return visit by Mr. Bush planned for Monday, directed administration officials not to respond to attacks from Democrats on the relief efforts, and sought to move the blame for the slow response to Louisiana state officials, according to Republicans familiar with the White House plan.

The effort is being directed by Mr. Bush's chief political adviser, Karl Rove, and his communications director, Dan Bartlett.

I don't really know what else to say here. I'm just... disgusted.

It's like Goosebumps except the characters say 'fuck'

Gleaned from some... uh... competitive research:

Will Kincaid raised both hands over his chubby, balding head and waved determinedly at the oncoming trucks. "HEY! OVER HERE! HEYYYY!"

Inside the idling BMW, Foxy Bannister's gut told her something wasn't right. From the rearview mirror of the SUV, Foxy saw the trucks barreling headlong towards her. She looked at the front door of Eddie's house and weighed her choices.

bush-eye view.

just like screaming across the big n.o. in your own massively private and comfortable jet.

Bad news

A pre-dawn explosion at a warehouse rocked a wide area of New Orleans Friday, jolting residents awake and lighting up the sky. Hours later, a second large fire erupted downtown... It was about two miles from both the Louisiana Superdome and the New Orleans Convention Center.


Claim: The U.S. Postal Service has suspended mail delivery to some areas affected by Hurricane Katrina.

Status: True.


Separately, the energy department said it will make a "major announcement" related to US energy supplies at 1700 GMT.

Right now I have this Star Wars scroll in my head: "The Republic is in great peril. Mired in a war halfway across the planet and besieged by a hurricane of unimaginable power..."

the last of the firsts.

first thursdays are petering out. before you know it, there'll be no free booze and jo jo and kenny will be lighting the yuletide additions to the monument.

but tonite, some stupid band is playing, some stupid idiots will be standing around talking about things, and feez's mom will be platejobbing everyone. (thanks, john waters. -ed.)

City dwellers need not apply

Because you guys walk everywhere, right?

Meep

Security has become a major concern now, because the NOPD is ineffective and the looters terrorists are roaming the streets. Word is now that they're lighting buildings on fire, but I can't confirm that. Anyway, we have to run guard shifts and patrol and it limits our downtime.

It is a zoo out there though, make no mistake. It's the wild kingdom. It's Lord of the Flies. That doesn't mean there's murder on every street corner. But what it does mean is that the rule of law has collapsed, that there is no order, and that property rights cannot and are not being enforced. Anyone who is on the streets is in immediate danger of being robbed and killed. It's that bad.

— excerpted from the livejournal of an intrepid Web hosting company employee in New Orleans, maintaining precious uptime

The photo from this article about the Superdome evacuation being delayed due to shots fired at military helicopters is chilling. (Not to mention: "He said the National Guard told him that it was sending 100 military police officers to gain control. 'That’s not enough,' Zuschlag [said]. 'We need a thousand.' ")

from down home to down pat.

so this started as a folky kind of joke, i know. and he had the seal made ages ago (info. crtsy. zkx25). but, um, isn't there maybe a legal issue here? like, doesn't the white house, as the seat of the executive branch, have some sort of status that transcends individual presidencies? and how has this asshole's luck not run out yet? and is that 'free state project' still going on? 'cause it fucking time we all hit monster.com to see what they've got up in vermont.