joel, strap your fucking cock to your leg

and go to simcountry.

Would a Boston Massacre pun be inappropriate?

An Emerson College junior, drawn to Fenway Park to toast the first Red Sox pennant in 18 years, was killed yesterday, shot in the eye by a projectile fired by police seeking to disperse revelers who authorities said threatened to spin out of control.

Victoria Snelgrove, a 21-year-old journalism student from East Bridgewater, was struck by a pepper-spray-filled plastic ball at about 1:30 a.m., some 90 minutes after the Red Sox celebrated on the infield at Yankee Stadium, provoking an estimated 80,000 jubilant and mostly young fans to converge on Kenmore Square.

more

kerry needs an industrial production center in california, clearly.

a sustained push into nevada could put the dems on texas' doorstep in two or three rounds. i guess it is still anyone's game. here's hoping bush doesn't roll heavy voting booths (each vote counts as three? we wouldn't have a chance!)

kerry needs an industrial production center in california, clearly.

a sustained push into nevada could put on texas' doorstep in two or three rounds. i guess it is still anyone's game. here's hoping bush doesn't roll heavy voting booths (each vote counts as three? we wouldn't have a chance!)

inglorious bastards

for those of you unaware, the yankees coughed up what will be remembered as the worst defeat in the history of organized sport. this is not hyperbolic mewling by career red sox fan, mind you. this summarizes the reasoned opinion of sporting afficionados across the nation. the security provided by a three-games-to-none advantage in a best of seven series is impregnable. fielding a team of four players would be acceptable practice in said situation. alas, those miracle sox (sans nomar garciaparra, i add with an aching heart) proved that no one is ever truly safe, we are all mortal. the slow, grinding crumble of an empire is thrilling. the ultimate 'real' event, because authority determines reality. and in the absence of authority? welcome to the new world order, ladies and gentleman. pick up your red sox nation passports and identity papers at the door.

the canadian annexation of memphis, tennesee?

Oct 21, 2004 10:25 AM

Int'l shipment release
MISSISSAUGA, ON
10:25 AM
Int'l shipment release
MISSISSAUGA, ON
6:07 AM
In transit
MISSISSAUGA, ON
Package available for clearance
Oct 20, 2004 8:44 PM
At dest sort facility
MISSISSAUGA, ON
4:46 PM

Departed FedEx location

MEMPHIS, TN
10:55 AM

Departed FedEx location

MEMPHIS, TN
12:12 PM

In transit
Package to be cleared by FedEx broker

6:02 AM

Shipment exception

MISSISSAUGA, ON

Package held for duties and/or taxes
2:38 AM

Clearance delay
MISSISSAUGA, ON
2:38 AM

Shipment exception

MISSISSAUGA, ON

Package held for duties and/or taxes


Oct 19, 2004 7:54 PM

Picked up

LINTHICUM HEIGHTS, MD

5:56 PM

Package data transmitted to FedEx; package not in FedEx possession

"What I really want is Life-B-Here"

So says the inventor of TV-B-Gone, a keychain-sized device that grants you dominion over all the television sets of North America.

fed X or how i learned to start worrying and hate customer service

Tracking number
372865510002722

Ship date
Oct 13, 2004

Estimated delivery
Oct 22, 2004


Delivery location
ST. CATHERINE, ON

Service type
Ground-International

Weight
23.0 lbs.

Status
Package data transmitted to FedEx; package not in FedEx possession

Date/Time

Activity

Location

Details


Oct 14, 2004 6:25 AM

Package data transmitted to FedEx

Oct 13, 2004 6:45 PM

Picked up

WHITE MARSH, MD

Hillarious photo of the day

Bill Gates, with Queen Latifah at the microsoft developer's conference. Note that the Queen dwarfs Mr. Gates.

She's crazy. No, seriously. She's fucking insane.

I’ve got the best new “our director is a total nut-job” story for you, told to me by the director’s assistant, and confirmed by the head of the MPP program.

Apparently, at some point, the director (who also teaches classes for the MPP program) pulled aside the two Chinese students enrolled in the program, and told them that while they are at IPS, THEY ARE NOT ALLOWED TO SPEAK CHINESE. They are apparently only to speak English while they are at IPS, or in IPS classes; even to each other. She then proceeded to tell morris, the MPP director, that if he hears them speaking Chinese, he’s supposed to step into their conversation, and correct them by telling them that they should be speaking English while they’re here. If that wasn’t ridiculous enough, I find it horrendously ironic that she doesn’t have a problem with our Swedish, Italian, and Israeli fellows speaking their native languages.

Half the time, the shit she pulls is just so crazy that all I can do is sit back and laugh.

Best headline ever

Ukrainian Teen Fights the Rise of the Machines™

A 14-year-old Ukranian girl has struck a blow for humanity in the war against belligerent technology by completely destroying a Yalta cash machine - with her bare hands.

Just something i thought was worth checking out.  I've never been a fan of constantly having to refresh pages to get new information, so i found this client called "Newz Crawler".  If you can get past the atrocious spelling (which my warez-addled mind didn't even notice until i just typed it), it's a great client that basically does the same thing as Bloglines, except it sits on your desktop and auto-checks your blogs for you.  It even has a built-in "blogthis!" client, so you can post directly from it to the jerk store, or any other blog that you got.  You should all check it out. 

P.S.  Klimas, you should get crunchable an RSS feed.  People can read it in newsreaders and on bloglines and stuff.  No idea how you do it, just a suggestion.

I'm ready to take your money

I'll be there a little late, maybe around 8:15 or so, with Rob Roan in tow. We have worked out an elaborate signalling mechanism wherein I indicate my hand strength by trashing either Feezer's choice of decor, his dressing habits, or his predilection for poorly-plotted anime.

Tonight I dream of being a badass

British people and their avatars.

Bloglines is nifty

I've been pissed off at Google News ever since they posted an anti-Semitic article as the top story on Israel making raids in the Gaza. Granted, it only lasted a couple hours, but still... anyway, I tried using Bloglines and it's pretty cool. Basically, it lets you see what's new on various Web sites, so I've got it set up with Reuters and the Washington Post... and a whole bunch of random other sites.

>WIN FABULOUS PRIZES

Check it out, I entered an Internet contest that's like cammslamm but for nerds who write.