The Sun is there

With breathtaking reportage of our disgraced police chief's new talk show:

Norris expressed disappointment in the Ravens' first preseason game, and had high hopes for Jamal Lewis' return to the team after serving his own federal prison sentence. Lewis, Norris said, was fortunate he was sent to a federal prison that had weights. The first one Norris went to, in Mississippi, did not, and he and other inmates used cans of vegetable shortening and bags of rice in their place, he said...

On rumors that Simpson enhanced her buttocks for her role in the movie The Dukes of Hazzard, Norris commented, "Oh my god. Boy, am I disappointed."

Some days I wish I had decided to be a journalist.