Making Reruns of Television Sitcoms More Interesting by Adding a Weapon

Friends, "Rachel Finds Out"

Joey participates in a fertility study, but things get difficult when he has to avoid intimacy with Melanie, his new girlfriend. The gang has a birthday barbecue for Rachel, but Ross only shows up long enough to drop off her birthday present and announce he's going to China to buy something called a seven-point sword, a rare type of Chinese throwing star that was used as a deadly weapon in the days of warring states and feudal lords. Chandler and Ross secretly arrange for an underground dealer of rare Chinese weapons and torture devices to meet Ross in Shanghai in hopes of Ross being able to also purchase something called a Din Tektu Iron Talon. This weapon uses the tips of heat-forged iron nails and an iron brush to pierce and tear at crucial deadly acupuncture points on the enemy's body, intending not only to take his skin from his skeleton, but also to exact everything from cancers to dementia, as well as to lay waste to the enemy's spirit in the afterlife. Later, while Rachel opens her presents at the barbecue, Chandler lets slip that Ross has become secretly infatuated with a rare form of deadly Chinese personal defense called "Gon Chak" or "Death's Kiss." Gon Chak's grisly techniques and weapons (the Din Tek Tu Iron Talon is one of them) sparked ethical concern even among China's most violent warlords and criminals, leading to its being permanently banned from the martial arts in the 18th century. It would be rare for a Westerner to ever see a Gon Chak weapon, let alone lay hands on one. If Ross is actually able to purchase a Din Tek Tu Iron Talon, it would make him one of the most highly revered collectors of arms in the United States literally overnight. The catch: Ross may not know it, but by undertaking a journey to China to purchase Gon Chak weaponry, he is putting himself in the path of certain danger, not to mention an age-old curse that has claimed many before him. Rachel goes to the airport to catch Ross before he leaves and tell him that she heard the news from Chandler and wants to talk with him because she has similar feelings. Unfortunately for her, Ross has already left on what may be both a first and final journey down the bloody path of a passion few will ever understand in him. Joey finally lets the cat out of the bag about his fertility test with Melanie, who was starting to suspect he was gay.