The Jerk Store

Friday, July 29, 2005

Cursor-dodger

Have you ever had a nightmare about a tiny Japanese man trying to grab your pointer? Yeah, me neither.

[cue Imperial march]

Nintendo takes one in the crotch.

Please ignore the last paragraph of that article.

Thursday, July 28, 2005

One of these people is a robot

that's right: i'm sending you to mcswny's once again.

the diary of a flying man is worth reading. take it from me.

"are you in character?" "why not."

awesome.

Wednesday, July 27, 2005

time for an update, c.m.h.

from classmates.com

Profile of Jeff Feeser

Q:
What do you do with your free time:
A:
Arts (museums, theater, etc.), Dine with friends, Go to movies, Have drinks with friends, Listen to music, Read, Sleep, Surf the Internet, Take classes, Vegetate, Watch TV, Work on my hobbies

Q:
Current relationship status:
A:
Single and hating it

Q:
About children:
A:
I don't have any children

Dear señor corey

Your email host hates gmail and I will never be able to communicate with you ever again.

The answer to your question is yes, though.

X-Gmail-Received: 479e5d5dbf6646697c378ef8455cd3cb42057ac8
Delivered-To: x@gmail.com
Received: by 10.54.52.19 with SMTP id z19cs19356wrz;
 Wed, 27 Jul 2005 10:34:47 -0700 (PDT)
Received: by 10.54.13.59 with SMTP id 59mr659450wrm;
 Wed, 27 Jul 2005 10:34:47 -0700 (PDT)
From: Mail Delivery Subsystem 
To: x@gmail.com
Subject: Delivery Status Notification (Failure)
Date: Wed, 27 Jul 2005 10:34:47 -0700 (PDT)

This is an automatically generated Delivery Status Notification

Delivery to the following recipient failed permanently:

[your email address]

Technical details of permanent failure:
PERM_FAILURE: SMTP Error (state 10): 553 dnsbl.sorbs.net.
<http://unblock.secureserver.net/?ip=64.233.184.204>

Man, that's one DOOMed Space Marine...

Your trailer, featuring Mr. Johnson.

Could we possibly have another "Alone in the Dark" on our hands? Can that greatness be replicated?

Join the Space Marines Today!

Are we engaging in some Wednesday Tuesday Madness this week, or did some of you have too much fun with your millions of new friends last night to try again?

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

consensed.

dear sucker mcs^2:

re: halo

yay or nay?

yrs,

c-tech

the physiology of a suicide bomber.

"There is no point in shooting in someone's chest because that is where the bomb is likely to be. There is no point in shooting anywhere else if they fall down and detonate it. The only way to deal with this is to shoot to the head."

so says sir ian blair of scotland yard, defending the new shoot-to-kill policy adopted by our once kinder, gentler british allies.

Monday, July 25, 2005

Salad Fingers' gonna mess you up

This is not exactly not-work-safe, but it's plenty creepy.

Thursday, July 21, 2005

Maybe you've already read this

b/c it's frm mcswy's:

It was New Year's Eve, and we were slow dancing at Karin Daly's seventeenth-birthday party. Two days previously, the FDA had given its stamp of approval to a drug named Prozac. Annette and I were the last two wallflowers, and only danced at Karin's insistence. Nobody was sitting this one out. That song. We began by holding each other at the elbows, then biceps, triceps, and shoulders, until finally we became interlocked about the neck. Someone later commented that we resembled a reverse full nelson.

Wednesday, July 20, 2005

impact'd deeply.

i'm sure everyone's seen/heard of this shit, but they sent this fucking thing into space to shoot this other thing right the fuck into a comet, for crissakes. shit went everywhere.

who are the tech wizards who came up with that one?

right, so i've been using 'myTunes' to glom off co-workers who appear on my network, ushering files into my iTunes and never looking back. as i started to listen to these new gems yesterday, i noticed occasional skipping, cracking and popping, etc. is the transfer to blame for the degredation of quality, or is it likely that all the songs in the (comprehensive and phantasmic) library that has disappeared forever are distorted in their original form?

any takers?